A crash course for packing for international travel 101

1. Always pack a 5-month old so that you can curry favor with elderly Hungarian women who reserve their smiles for international tourists younger than .5 yrs. Who, from all appearances, speak Hungarian quite well.

2. Always pack someone to dandle your 5-month old so you can go out and have a beer on the square with the rest of the tourists with sunburns and shopping bags.

3. Always pack flip flops. They don’t take up any room in your luggage, and sneakers are just not primo footwear during a Brutally Hot European Heat Wave.

4. Always pack shorts and a tank top, along with your modest savvy traveler jeans and long skirts. See number 3 for further explanation if necessary.

5. Always pack a bathing suit. Especially if the city where you are headed specializes in thermal baths and outdoor pools. And especially if you plan to be going there during a Brutally Hot Heat Wave.

6. That set of travel speakers for your iPod? Not doing much good in your desk drawer at home, now is it.

7. Deodorant soap. Need I say more? Oh yes, especially if you are traveling during a Brutally Hot European Heat Wave.

8. If you are headed to a country with more zeros in its currency than your average annual salary, and if you are puzzled by trying to calculate the price of a beer on a daily basis, then perhaps a calculator is in order.

9. You can leave the jogging clothes at home. Who are you really kidding, anyway?

10. Always pack some kind of minimal but still somewhat modest garment for lounging around your euro flat. Especially if you plan to travel during a Brutally Hot Heat Wave, plan to live in a flat with no AC but, instead, huge open windows overlooking a busy street, and if think that you will probably, on every occasion of crossing the threshold, strip down to your underwear and lie in front of the fan. Unless, of course, you don’t mind providing a modicum of entertainment for the neighbors across the way. Which perhaps you will. In which case, you can disregard this item and save that space in your suitcase for folkloric handicrafts.

I hope that these tips will be of some help on your next trip. Happy travels.