Show me the money

As I sit here at my computer, with my elbows sticking to my desk, I curse the underfunding of public education in our fair state. We didn't know the word "recision" until recently, but it's a catch word on campus these days among administrators in the know. Apparently, a budget recision goes something like this: you get your allowance for the week on Monday, and you allocate it all to ice cream, movies, whatever, but you've got a full week ahead and things are looking good. Then somewhere around Friday, your mom, your dad, whoever gave you that pocket o'cash, comes back and says, well, you're going to have to give some of that back. Maybe you can return something? Or just do without ice cream for the next two days? Not our problem how you manage it, but we need to have some cold hard cash back.

So you're wondering where my elbows come in to play in all of this. Well, in this era of state budget recisions, we're really starting to feel the pinch down here on the ground. I can deal with the whole "pass the hat to fund the water cooler" routine every three months. But today, I've really had it. After spilling nearly an entire can of Sierra Mist Lemon-Lime Soda all over my desk and keyboard, I walked to the bathroom to get some paper towels, forgetting that for the last several months there has been a large sign posted on the paper towel dispenser, in bold print, no-less: "THERE HAS BEEN A SHORTAGE OF PAPER TOWELS AT THE UNIVERSITY. YOU WILL HAVE TO USE THE BLOW DRYERS FOR THE TIME BEING."

ok, fine, I can use the BLOW DRYERS when I wash my hands, but I CAN'T USE THE BLOW DRYERS TO WIPE UP THE LEMON-LIME SODA THAT HAS SPILLED ALL OVER MY DESK. My conclusion, after several trips back and forth to the bathroom, is that toilet paper is meant for only one purpose, and for one purpose alone. So, thanks to the state of public education funding here in Illinois, and the resulting shortage of paper towels in the ladies washroom, I will be spending the rest of the afternoon sticking to my lemon-lime scented desk.