A sign that you may need more sleep

You find yourself approaching your office door, keys in hand, repeatedly punching the "unlock" button on your car key remote.

Memo

To: the guy who keeps letting his dog shit in front of our house and doesn't bother to clean it up

From: the house resident who is tired of picking up your dog's crap

May frogs rain upon your house. I mean no harm to your dog, a somewhat innocent bystander in this confounded behaviour, but you, well, you are destined for your own special circle in hell. I have put in a special request.

Objectionable behaviour of the day

Objectionable behavior of the day: Public Pissing

I recently looked over the edge of our porch down into the alley to find a guy standing next to the trash cans taking a giant whiz against our neighbor’s garage. To this gentleman's credit, he was a little bit abashed after I yelled at him to find himself a new alley. But after having returned from a vacation in a city where public pissing seemed to be the order of the day, for young and old, rich and poor, I’m getting a little fed up. On this recent trip, I saw one guy pull off a busy sidewalk and stop between 2 cars parked along the street, as if this was following some sort of decorum, and piss straight out into the street. I’ve seen more male private parts around the world at this point than I ever thought possible for a relatively modest gal.

I seem to recall reading somewhere that the number of men to women out there in the great wide world is roughly equal. There are those in my family who can summon great authority on a wide range of subjects with the phrase, “I read it somewhere.” I suppose it’s possible that “Somewhere” is the title of some obscure journal or magazine, filled with a lot of mini-articles including just enough information to fill a sentence or two over the dinner table.

At any rate, I think I recall reading somewhere that women even outnumber men by some small percentage. So given that there are more of us out there, why is it that the public pissers are 100% men? Especially given that men are also reputed to have camel bladders and can hold it for weeks if necessary. And given the fact that we women must make at least 3 trips to the ladies’ room after our morning coffee. So what’s the deal? Are there a lot of men out there who are taking that “8 glasses of water a day for good health” just a little too seriously? I defy you to find a woman out there that drives a muscle truck decorated with a frowny Calvin decal taking a pee on something or other. I just don’t understand.

Carbohydrate Air

A meal consumed recently somewhere over the Atlantic on the unfortunately named Aer Lingus--I defy you to recall a meal that packs a bigger carbohydrate punch.

Lasagna
with a side of pasta salad
a dinner roll (w/butter)
a blueberry muffin
crackers (with a square of cheese)
that was it. Oh yeah, a little square of chocolate, and a foil wrapped thingy of 2 oz of water.

And for the morning snack: A scone, of course.