Phil the Sore

On the topic of things I'd banish from this universe once named Generous but Supreme World Leader: weird spokescreatures. Dancing geckos, dancing babies that talk with Brooklyn accents, mucus that walks and talks, all would be banished from this good green earth, sent off to crap up another universe's television airwaves. Because while I can suffer through a dancing gecko here and there, the dancing mucus is just really too much. I'm just waiting for the representative from the erectile dysfunction camp to chime in.

So this report from our friends at NPR really resonated with my distaste for these creepy animated body byproducts. Because, well, I really can't do better than this on the subject of weird spokescreatures:

"Syphillis is no laughing matter, especially in LA county where new infections rose 41% last year. Clearly the Health Department's prevention mascot, Phil the Sore, has not been effective. Phil, a lumpy red cartoon sore with an angry frown, a buzz cut, and an earring, was meant to discourage risky behavior. The very unfriendly spoke-sore also made live appearances, in the form of a giant walk-around pustule. Imagine Disney-land, but instead of Goofy or Mickey, a big mean shanker. Imagine a Fruit of the Loom character with roid rage. Imagine a Smurf, but red instead of blue, and with lesions."

Now, on the other hand, if Disneyland were indeed filled with a bunch of walking and talking veneral diseases, I guess the whole thing would be a lot more intriguing.